That's right, your own belief system (BS) could be holding you back! Beliefs can serve us, or they can defeat us.
Imagine an athlete who learned early in life that he needs to dominate others in order to survive. He may have come from a tough home situation where this belief served him well. He learned to "win at all costs." Let's say this belief serves him today as a competitive runner: he vanquishes his opponents with ruthless intensity.
But what happens when this runner encounters someone who beats him? If he can't win naturally, what might his belief system tell him to do? His win-at-all-costs attitude may lead him to use performance-enhancing drugs.
Let’s take the example of a gymnast who demands perfection. Maybe her first coach taught her that mistakes were unacceptable. Because of this, her belief system is “people won't like me if I make mistakes." So, instead of using mistakes as a learning experience, she is terrified of imperfection, and never strives to reach the next level.
The gymnast's perfectionism and the runner's desire to win at all costs may garner some impressive results, but eventually their beliefs will limit their potential. Worse, their beliefs may cause stress, burnout, and even cheating.
Changing belief systems is difficult because we may have "believed our beliefs" for so long that we don't even question them.
The key to changing your beliefs is to listen to your language. There is something in sport psychology called self-talk. It is the language - often subconscious - that we use to evaluate ourselves.
Listen to your self-talk, and you'll begin to uncover your belief system. If you have a bad game or a bad race, do you find yourself saying things like "I always miss that shot" or "I'll never get better?"
While it might not seem like a big deal, this kind of negative self-talk can be very damaging. If repeated enough, you will lose motivation and confidence.
What kind of beliefs would an athlete have to have in order to use negative self-talk such as, "I'll never get better?" Well, they might believe that it's simply too difficult to get better.
But if we drill down even deeper, a more basic belief may be uncovered. "I'll never get better" might really mean "I'm afraid to push myself to the next level because if I fail, then I'm a failure as a person."
Talking to a sport psychologist or counselor can help uncover core beliefs. But not all athletes want to do this, or even need to.
Certainly anxiety, depression, and destructive behavior merit a referral to a counselor. But most athletes can counter negative beliefs by simply changing their self-talk.
Stop using negative self-talk, and start using positive self-talk. This is the "outside-in” approach. Tell yourself something long enough, and you start to believe it.
Instead of saying "I'll never get better" say, "I want to get better." The more you stop negative self-talk in its tracks and switch to positive self-talk, the quicker you will start to shift your belief system.
Note that positive self-talk must be realistic. Saying "I will win" when you're up against tough competition is not smart. Instead say something positive and unconditional like, "strong" or "smooth."
The challenge in noticing self-talk is that it's often unspoken, or whispered under our breath.
One way to bring your self-talk into awareness is by writing it down.
After your next competition, pick something that bothered you – maybe an error you made – and write it down. Next, write the first words that come to mind about the error you made. Some colorful adjectives might come to mind. Or it may be a phrase beginning with "I should have."
If you are like most athletes, you may notice that you are hard on yourself. You may have written down some negative appraisals.
The next step is to write down a list of positive adjectives or phrases regarding the error you made.
One way to do this is to imagine a coach giving you positive words of encouragement. If you missed a shot in basketball, would a good coach say, "what's wrong with you... you always miss that shot!” Of course not, they would say something like, "let's practice that shot so you'll get it next time."
Force yourself to write down an equal amount of positive, encouraging self-talk or “coaching talk.” Look at the positive words. Let them soak in.
Every night for a week, before going to bed, look at your positive list. Visualize yourself as your own "good coach" encouraging you. Then go to bed and let the subconscious reprogramming begin!
More and more, start to notice the language you use to evaluate yourself. If it's negative or judgmental, you're in good company, many athletes are hard on themselves. But there is a difference between pushing yourself toward excellence, and berating yourself. The latter helps no one.
Next week, in Part Two
, we'll learn more about the power of self-talk. Stay tuned!